Me: Cool Lizard you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. Your style too crisp. they’ll kill you Cool Lizard:

(me on my first day back to work after thanksgiving break) hey can this wait til after Christmas

being a 23 year old girl is harder than this

I wish i could be nonchalant but unfortunately i'm insane

Was checking flights to Ohio. What the hell is this

if the baby jesus sees his shadow, it’s six more weeks of Happy Hondadays

another day as a big girl with a big girl job

hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine

life if all of my friends lived within a 20 minute walking radius

me after 6 tequila shots

happy international women's day

A car crashed into a Dunkin' in Cranston this morning. This was what a 15-year-old had to say about it. Story: wpri.com/news/local-new…

roommates are the worst. mine just made table side tagliatelle and left the entire cheese wheel in the sink

Kaylee you rat fuck bitch I am so sick of people like you moving the goal post whenever you’re presented with legitimate statistics that go against your bubble reality where you equate abortion to a video of a 9 month gestation cesarian because it provides a shock factor for your

This is how our checks looked in high school and we swore we were getting money . A $300 check in the 11th grade? I would have walked into the cafeteria and bought a section.

If they bring back mint pods they might have to deploy the national guard to stop white boy summer

“this is going to ruin the tour” “what tour” “the world tour”