> go to lesbian birthday party at an island beach club > hot lesbian offers you a hit of her DMT vape > you think she’s joking > hit the vape > it’s DMT > you’re tripping on DMT > everyone looks like those fractal posters > someone says “We dropped 3 bombs on Iran. We’re at war.”

roo Falling asleep at a video game menu because you’re too exhausted to play

LSU wide receiver gotta pretend like he hasn’t done 130 in a corvette before

D’andre Williams Good film study. I ain’t gon lie it was a wrestling match, I looked over to the ref one time and he was like “stop all that fuckin cryin”. He was an OG so he sound like my uncle when he said, I had to lock in real quick

saved lives

Spoilers for Superman How the hell did #Supershit get a genuine chuckle from me twice

How’d they make Guy Gardner likable

Helped my neighbour carry her groceries today

I want to know his wife's exact prayer word for word

deltarune toriel is cute but also i keep envisioning this in my head whenever i see her

Troth Tad Officer this is my fucking son

It starts with an H and we all HATE it!

No one yearns like me. Yearner extraordinaire

Nigga if u book yo girl a spa day and get her makeup done and she find out you got it cheap cs u used to crack the nail tech she gon knock the sonic coins out yo ass😭😭😭😭

With how popular Seinfeld was you’d think more people would name their kids after characters like what happened with Game of Thrones or Harry Potter. Never once met an Elaine or a Jerry

It’s times like these I miss my old coworker who was both a Cowboys and Mavs fan. I’ve never known a man with such a constant look of pain in his eyes

Sometimes I’ll go back to Undertale to see if it still makes me cry and yup