Just been maccies on way home from work. Corsa sounds awful. Turn music up to drown out the sound. Cheeseburger. No cheese. Bosh.

Cant wait for Budapest with the lads. I had too Google spell check how to spell Budapest, mind. Not the brightest of lads me lol. BOSH.

Leeds lost tonight. Marching on to the championship together ay lads. Up the toon! #leeds #ALAW

Call the cops, I’m off me chops! Bierkeller notts do not mess about lol. They call me Roy cropper the lung popper for a reason. Only 10pm and I’m hammered lads 🍺

Out for Chinese with our lass tonight. New dish I want to try. Popular with lesbians apparently. Won long tong.

Been out to watch #NFFC tonight with the lads. Absolutely potatoed lol. Some might call me a legend I call myself a hero. We keep going till I can’t see out my eyeballs. I love myself.

The magic of the cup x.com/tm78__/status/…

The streets don’t call me the great carl-E for nothing. Unit of a man. “The fridge freezer”. Once ate a whole twin pack of rich tea to myself on a Tuesday night. I don’t choose this life. The thug life chooses me.

Happy hour at turtle bay. Went on my lunch break, came back for work steaming lol. Boss cottoned on but said nothing cause he’s scared of the big C. Back home now for some more cans. Co-op only has Stella in so me mrs is in for it tonight. Toon army.

Big night for my boyhood club #NFFC Go and beat the scabs tonight and do the city proud! I act as if I’m a Newcastle fan just to please my mummy. I walk down the stairs every morning and shout “up the mighty toon” and “ha-way the lads!” Just to see her gorgeous smile.

Just been to visit my nan in Leeds. Told me she saw a bloke with no shins. Tony his name. Senile old bat thought it was Tuesday still. Asked me if I wanted two for Tuesdays. Get her in that home, quick, I want her bedroom to put a darts board in.

Hugs all round for me and the toon army!! TOON ARMY

I don’t really like derby.

Awesome night at the “small tie awards” in Harrogate. Met some truly inspirational people who have given me some awesome ideas on my next tie. Not many people know this apart from my truly remarkable gorgeous girlfriend. I actually have a tie fetish. One love.

Just seen how many Pringles I could fit up my scrawny arse. 12. Tried 13 but the pain was unbearable.

brilliant first day at #parklife Met a great bunch and different varieties of people. First time going to a rave on my own. Once a geordie always a geordie. Yolk no egg.

🚨 random red of the day 🚨 Ciaran Hudson