Me telling my younger cousins a Christmas story around the tree

Fuck your Peter Millar. I got a lava lamp for Christmas

sucked it so hard I turned inside-out

Taking a shit on my lunch break and just thought why the fuck am I taking a shit on my lunch break. That’s company time business man

Call me wingstop the way I’m sauced and tossed

I’m not drunk yet but I’m definitely in the red zone

The Mavs traded Luka and you think she’s not talking to other people

Shower burger #ohyeah #yummy #8inchesandthick

Dream blunt rotation: chicken joe, shaggy but no Scoopy Doo (hot take), towelie from South Park, and Carl Wheezer (sleeper)

I’m taking the under on my total steps taken today

Just pissed in my roommates Kurig #LANK

🫢🫳

Feel like Stefon Diggs on instagram today

NOT GUILTY A$AP ROCKY HAS BEAT HIS CASE AFTER THE JURY FINDS HIM NOT GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES THE COURTROOM ERUPTED INTO CELEBRATION AS A$AP ROCKY JUMPS INTO THE THE GALLERY TO HUG RIHANNA

Pepsi bottle, Coca Cola glass… I don’t give a damn

This thing has to have x2 hangover cure. (yes, that is a Nike slipper)

Present me watching past me put my whole tax return on Ludwig Aberg and Bryson DeChambeau Top 5

Sungjae finished 5th and I legitimately saw zero of his shots this weekend.