Mike Vrabel: "I'll cut my penis off if I win the Super Bowl." Dianna Russini:

per WHAT

Hi please don’t vape around my baby. We’re raising him exclusively on Marlboro reds.

Her husband needs to get a paternity test and I'm 100% serious.

moms text you like “please call ASAP” and then you call and they’re like “hello i am your mom”

i need to know your exact prayer word-for-word

Mike Vrabel: “I’m going to counseling” The therapist:

has RFK tried just coughing really hard

Nah nigga I need to touch some ass

Jalen Brunson

cj mccollum when he sees brunson on defense

Kohl’s employees in Las Vegas seeing Fernando Mendoza and Kirk Cousins on the Raiders

.Mikal Bridges

HE KNEW

“Sorry kids, but daddy can’t put you to bed on Thursday night. I’ll be in Pittsburgh dressed as a Bengal Tiger watching 20 year olds get jobs.”

This is how Mexicans dress to go to the club

nigga didnt have lunch til 7th period no wonder why he was shootin folk

the jews are making me drink 47 beers and drunk text my ex gfs tonight.

One of my favorite random facts about Carnell Tate is he was on the IMG team that played Bishop Sycamore 😂