I'm Commander Shepard and I hope that all my followers out there in the universe are enjoying reliving our incredible journey as much as I am with #MassEffectLegendaryEdition. We had a hell of a ride.

I worked with Cerberus once. Because I had too. And everything I achieved meant nothing to the Lt. That. That hurt. #ShepardsMemoirs

*clears throat* Mars was crawling with Cerberus agents, but there was something wrong with them. They'd been... disfigured. #ShepardsMemoirs

Who the hell knows what the Illusive Man is thinking but stuffing your soldiers full of Reaper tech? Now? #ShepardsMemoirs

Let's just say Cerberus' illustrious leader is no longer playing with a full deck. #ShepardsMemoirs

Still we did make a rendezvous with an old friend. Liara T'soni. She <retracted> <security breach> <file deleted> #ShepardsMemoirs

<noise distortion>... which basically sums everything up about our resident prothean genius. *laughs* Not that anyone knows #ShepardsMemoirs

Cerberus is a giant pain in the ass. Their AI took out Alenko and half the data we needed. #ShepardsMemoirs

So now this war is two fronted. Destroy the Reapers and try and stop Cerberus. Because I needed another headache. #ShepardsMemoirs

*Enters main battery* Hey Garrus, I... *Rocks to a halt. The room... is empty.*

*Checks door. She hasn't hallucinated, it is the right room*

*Steps back in. Checks everywhere. Looks under the gun. Touches console incase interruption to calibrations makes him appear*

*Frowns in total confusion. There does not appear to be a turian here at all.*

*Feeling lost and bewildered she steps back out into the main corridor* But... callibrations? *After a long moment she slowly wanders away*

Have you tried our new, healthy air quoting service, 'I Can't Believe it's Not Dismissal?'

Shepard, Shepard he's our man! If he can't do it, ah yes "Reapers".

*pokes Garrus Vakarian in the side. Scrapes her knuckles against his armour for her trouble. Grumbles to herself*

The Apocalypse: Survivor: How did we lose 100 years of batteries!? Conrad Verner desperately hiding 100 Shepard VIs: It was the zombies.

*checks calendar* Just over five years that I've been commander of the Normandy. *pats wall* Happy Birthday, old girl.