My date: I think I really have to go Me: [getting between her and the door, using my remote to queue up the song Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell for the 4th time in a row] You just need to hear it one more time

The fact is I actually do read books in public instead of look dumbly at my phone to signal that I’m better then other people. I make a whole production of it when it’s a hardcover from the library also.. you just know I’m gonna have that Mylar crinkling extra loud for attention.

so many crybaby ass comments from men on this post. We really cannot accept backlashing too much on these matters. If anything we should widen the net. They need to know that they are cunts

What do you think is the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard someone claim to be the originator of? there was someone on here who used to say they invented hating on the charmin bears

Tired of seeing videos and stills from things purporting to be podcasts. Put a bag on it. I shouldn’t know what you look like

now why is he in it

people online love to call themselves “a cassandra” for expressing reasonable projections of the future that many people would agree are plausible

got too drunk at my wife’s 20 year high school reunion… classic place to do it I think

I don’t think I have refused to learn anything. I genuinely believe I could do anything, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet…

having trouble explaining to the algo that I don’t want to see Wednesday fandom stuff… I don’t know who Enid is and I don’t care about her gay feelings…

I love being American because it's the psychic equivalent of being hit in the head one million times with a mallet

I want one because I want to conduct unethical experiments on his person

I wonder if being raised rapture ready has to do with why I have such a buoyant, just-happy-to-be-here spirit

Trying to tell Stanley about the moon but he doesn't care