not all heroes wear capes

Every time I want to make fun of teenagers now for their broccoli hair, I remind myself that me and everyone I knew had hair like this

I hate it when brutal autocrats do the exact thing I would do if I ran a country.

Sofort einziehende Handcreme

Luigi Mangione's shackled ankles in court

wenn aliens uns mal besuchen nehm ich einen zu nem regionalliga spiel mit und lass ihn 90 minuten abwechselnd schluck bier trinken und von zigarette ziehen wirklich peak erd erlebnis

Niemand: Jede deutsche Firmenchronik:

This guy will be outlived by Sicilians who consume nothing but olives, Campari, and cigarettes

Hasse es wenn Leute die Weckerl ohne Sackerl aufs Kassa-Förderbanderl legen 👎🏻

The indifferents, Italy. 2009 Martino Balestreri

Deutsche gehen heute in alte, verfallene, kaputtgesparte Schulen und Turnhallen und wählen CDU, keine Pointe

Verstehe die Aufregung nicht. Frauen sind doch mit gemeint.

The difference between Vance and Rubio is that both of them are going to spend eternity in hell but only Rubio realises it

First day at standing lessons

Rubio sank so far into that couch I was afraid JD Vance might fuck him.

them.

First semester of Standing School, doing great

At no point in this sentence did I know what was going to happen next.

My favorite social experiment is when hotels leave one bottled water outside the mini-bar, and you have to figure out if it's free or not.

🚨🇪🇸 GOAL | Real Madrid 3-2 Leganes | Mbappe MBAPPE HAS SCORED THE FIRST FREE KICK OF HIS CAREER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x.com/topyandgo/stat…