the el*n twitter takeover has really shifted my relationship with twitter. like now when I lose followers I’m like good for you babe, be free

Me finally having to go back to work after winning the historical deal we badly wanted

it seems like everyone has really going through it this year holy fuck

mister rogers would have slayed on the golden bachelor

i just witnessed a squirrel get hit by a car but didn’t make it, please hug your squirrel friends and tell them you love them

instead of womens and men's bathrooms they should have poo and pee bathrooms

this movie is exactly what i need to get through the end of the year she never misses

before house hunters i never knew i could be sexually attracted to a kitchen

I’m such a proud auntie of Dylan rn

eating your partner’s leftovers without permission is legal grounds for divorce

my brother just sent the listing for his new house in NC and the mortgage is less than my half of rent in Lala land— there’s no joke here except the one that is my life

he said, “oh you’re a Palestine fan? name every war crime that’s been committed against them”

called my senator this morning urging for a ceasefire but I haven’t spoken to anyone on the phone in a long time so it was v awkward but i’m glad i did it cause embarrassing myself is the bare fucking minimum i can do

Alexa play Friends The One with the Halloween Party

illegal transgender alien

A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.

“I wish that my son, Aiden Clark, was killed by a 60-year-old white man. I bet you never thought anyone would say something so blunt, but if that guy killed my 11-year-old son, the incessant group of hate-spewing people would leave us alone." springfieldnewssun.com/news/aiden-cla…