Fucking Monday

Some of the things that pop up in my Facebook memories make me cringeee

A short list of things I hate about being back in the office - •Wearing a bra

Bacon should come with a warning label. *DO NOT COOK WHILE SHIRTLESS OR BAREFOOT*

Slept on my neck wrong. Getting old is funnn 🙃

I took my CBD oil with my coffee this morning so if that doesn’t tell you what kind of day I’m having, I don’t know what will 🙃

How does the temperature drop 30 degrees in 5 hours??!?

Apparently dirt is my dry shampoo today.

I will never understand why people put their dryers to the left of their washing machines.

one thing about me is if you’re my friend I’ll always show up for you, but I might be 10 minutes late

Picture this. My husband gets up at the crack of dawn to make himself breakfast. Slamming cupboard doors & slamming the microwave door. The cat starts meowing because he wants me to get up too. Husband starts YELLING at the cat to shut up because THE CAT is going to wake me up

Wine drunk is the best drunk 💕

I had pumpkin spice coffee this morning and lit a vanilla chai candle. I’m ready 🍂🎃🍁☕️

Why is it that every time I light the grill, I effectively singe all of the hair off of my arm??? I never learn 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m watching Jeepers Creepers for the first time ever. Happy Augtober 🍁🍂

The good news - I changed a light fixture all by myself and I didn’t get electrocuted. The bad news - I blew the breaker and I need two lightbulbs but I only have one. 🙃 #homedecor

We moved into our new house 7 months ago. I just had to show my husband where the cookie sheets live… Don’t let him tell you he does the cooking. 😂

Okay Apple - what do we have to do to get a gingerbread man emoji ?!? #ChristmasIsComing