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look at you. friday night, no hoes, jus staring at the ceiling

I accidentally found an online nudist forum for Albany. Apparently Washington Park is their spot. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This lady got pulled over drunk driving a horse and literally said “I’m not drunk the horse is.” #whatahero

making a janitor Pokémon trainer and giving him the trash Pokémon is 💯

Whoever paid for my car insurance before I could deserves a little kiss on the forehead.

Fucking losers.

Im scared and great at sex.

If anyones actually curious, my mom pays for my car and I spend more time at the hospital than my house because my lungs are failing from some unknown disease at the age of 32.

Do they teach you how to talk like a cop in cop school? Like holy shit what a psychotic, monotone, cookie cutter indiolect.

Shut up, me.

Just heart a republican political mouth breather promise to “raise the death penalty.”

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Just walked by a mailman in his truck straight up eating a giant bucket of chicken.

Here to complain about the snow.

The way the woman in the next bathroom stall just let loose I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s alone in here 🫠

$15 to anyone who can kill the bird outside of my window.