My sister's dog will only eat out of a ramekin. We tried calling other bowls ramekins, but he knows.

Might fuck around and just let the grass grow up to my knees until the first snow

grok pretend you took L$D and visually explain recursion to me

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ spotted today.

Who’s up learning the terrifying truth

I’ll have a cafe, mocha, vodka, Valium, matte to go please.

I set the microwave to 99 seconds just to feel something.

I am for some sex marriage

The art of silence and the mastery of deep breathing. Perfect Peace.

do you have to let it linger bro?

I wish my life had background music as i would be better able to judge situations by the sudden change in music.

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one and everybody else is crazy.

french scooby being called Scoubidou is frying me

*brings an inflatable frog to a gunfight

#WhatMyBodyMovementsSay I'm getting fed up with your slow pace, Doris. Feed me right now or you won't sleep tonight.

Your Capitol renovation is costing California taxpayers $1.1 BILLION — 4x more than the privately funded White House ballroom, which costs taxpayers NOTHING.

I love non-binary Halloween. What do you mean you’re sand