eating crab rangoons while watching pop the balloon, butt naked, in an apartment i’m overcharged on. i’m gonna be okay

We should all go back to drinking Hennessy this summer

Me watching the unexpected guests eating the food I was planning to eat later.

Bringing the groceries inside is a boy job. I gotta get married. Can’t keep doing this.

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider

and if i saw an alien i wouldn’t even give af honestly i got too much going on fr

idk at 17 I didn’t wanna play in no man battyhole idk man

Instead of saying “need dat” I’m definitely boutta start saying GET HERE NOW so a bitch know what time it is

When I put my all into it and I hear someone saying "who cooked this nonsense!?"

and for the lady, perhaps a deep cleaned house, cancelled plans, a new series to watch, and zero human interaction?

Why is Auntie Anne's only in the mall? Bitch, spread tf out!

Back to work tomorrow

i miss u can i see you FUCK NIGGA

“wyd after work?” me already in bed:

Oh My God!!!!😳 $60M

me after I sang the wrong lyrics out loud

anything i do when im drunk is ai