I like to throw & toss things in here

Got my Toyota Camry detailed. Now it's an automatic 2008 Sky Blue Pearl Toyota Camry LE V6.

Why did that guy want to bring his Bonnie back? She was a habitual liar over large bodies of water.

Pretty sure this is the international symbol for eating your own vomit

Ever been asked a question and you find yourself agreeing with it but then it takes a strange turn and you sink into a pool of eels?

I think the big surprise about the teddy bear picnic is that they're eating at all. I thought they were stuffed.

A poor craftsman blames his tools because he can't afford good tools. Vote for me and I will tax the rich craftspeople and give tools to all.

I’m a Civil War draft dodger reenactor.

Consider it done. Now reconsider because I’m not doing it. Still, wasn’t it briefly satisfying when you temporarily thought it was taken care of?

Terrible accident at the astrologer's. Zodiac signs everywhere. Oh, the horoscope!

Free advice is typically worth you pay for it. That will be $100, please.

When I was a kid I believed in the future as depicted on Star Trek where we’d use advanced technology for discovery and exploration. Instead, we spend all day staring at our tricorders.

At what age do you tell your screenplay that it's adapted?

My new bike light has many modes: full brightness, half brightness, flashing, rapid flashing, disco inferno... By the time I've cycled to the one I want it's daylight.

Closed?!? If ever we needed them to be open, it's now. Maybe it's only good against the koronavirus.

I've watched thousands of hours of TV since the lockdown. It's the zombie apocalypse only we're eating our own brains.

Chuck is super accomplished

Having a vegetarian Thanksgiving but have invited some carnivores? Serve them Fauxfurky, turkey with the look and taste of tofu with the look and taste of turkey.

It's clear from the way they sing "five golden rings" that they prefer carats over parrots. Enough with the bird gifts already.