If we all agree that it was great, and that it was wrongly cancelled, can’t we just BRING BACK The Dana Carvey Show?

The most magical thing that’s happened in #AgathaAllAlong is that they managed to get 7 glasses of wine out of one bottle.

Judge: Mr. Diddy, we’ll need access to your bank records and we’ll need to know where you keep your funds. Diddy: Yes, your honor. You’ll need to contact Sting.

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned from all this P. Diddy stuff is that he DEFINITELY looks better with the sunglasses ON.

What’s the f***ing point of the kiosk if you still have to stand on line to drop off your bag?

Joe Biden was like the lunch break on the WORST day of finals week.

If you can’t get on Netflix Evander Holyfield and Chocolate Rain are battling it out on Tubi.

Hey guys. Hope everyone had a great holiday. Just a reminder that this Friday is the last day that we’re using “Bug,” as the nickname of the daughter in any family dramas. Just a heads up. Have a great week everyone!

Maybe you could enforce the trains arriving on time, and making sure that people aren’t listening to music at full volume on their phones. I guess you’re too busy enforcing fake eyelashes and gel manicures.

My New Year’s resolution is to hunt down anyone that had anything to do with that new Burger King jingle and beat them to death with one of those BK melts.

I love how everyone’s like, “I’m excited for a fresh start and for 2024 to be over.” Like 2025 is gonna be any better. Don’t kid yourselves.

…and immediately took a ride in Ben Franklin’s cloud car!

See, I don’t think putting the toothpaste back in the tube would be the most impossible thing.

Weird that Spectre is televising their meeting.

Join me and Erica Hernandez as we premiere our new podcast “Don’t Know It,” Monday February 3rd, 2025 on the Dueling Genre podcast network! You can find it wherever you get your podcasts! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/don…

It’s here! Check out the first episode of our new podcast! I introduce Erica Hernandez to #Beetlejuice this week on an all new Don’t Know It! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/don…

The latest episode of #Severence is like a dark deleted scene from The Beatles movie, HELP.

New episode of “Don’t Know It” is up! Erica Hernandez and I talk about the Tom Hanks classic “That Thing You Do!” #TomHanks #ThatThingYouDo podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/don…

If you’re an I.C.E Agent you are a nazi. You follow orders like a wind up doll and you do what you’re told with no brain power behind it. I.C.E. Agents are literally tools.

Jim Parsons should’ve played Mr. Rogers. That is all.