Today has been the worst Friday. The worst week really, like this whole ass week can go to hell. I'm so down and upset and just want to burn the world down. I need to turn this fuck show around

Not me low-key falling for the pilot who isn't divorced yet. Probably just the mushrooms talking. Or the orgasms. Ask me in the morning.

If it first it doesn't taste great, add more cheese. My life motto I live by.

I have 3 dates in a row this week, Friday off work with a girl's night at the club to see Diplo. Followed by another short week. Can't stop me living my best life.

Logged in to a webinar and thought I could do it in the background while I multi-tasked....then I get here and it's 6 people and interactive. So unprepared for this omg. 😱 😳

Tell me why on a random Saturday afternoon both my Internet and power went down/out for no good reason. Now I must go to the pool and lay out instead

If Sydney really is dating scooter, it would appear as if she is deliberately trying to ruin her career this summer. Like girl was at the top of the world and threw it all away with a few bad decisions. Hard to see, but I support a women's rights and wrongs

Honestly #karma is a bitch, but if you can't handle it, then don't be a dick and treat others poorly. It's that simple.

I'm so sick of the recipes that claim they are "no bake" and "easy" when they still require a double boiler, or mixer/food processor, or some other ridiculous bs. Like give me something I can do in 30 mins, not an afternoon.

I was cast as a main character in another couples' relationship drama, and frankly I barely deserve a footnote. But I will admit it's absolutely hilarious and giving me stand-up content gold.

Doing the exact opposite so I don't have to live that long. I ain't got money for that. 🚫Walking 🚫No alcohol 🚫Yogurt daily

Came back from a week of vacation and it's not even 8 am and my boss messaged me and if that wasn't bad enough, I forgot I have to go to San Diego for work tomorrow and it slipped my mind completely.

I hate seeing a man on a dating app that says he's 5'9 and based on his photos you just know he's 5'6 and lying. I'd be fine with your height if you didn't lie about it.

Sometimes the hardest choice is between respecting yourself and your boundaries or winning and being the baddest bitch. It's a tough call

I dealt tums at the networking party like it was coke. Yeah that over 30 crowd fuckin loves their antacids, and I cater to them because I also need them.... relatable

Finn Wolfhard looking like 2 kids in a trenchcoat with this look.

I knew at 17 that men named 'Nick' were no good for me, I swore them off. I broke the rule, and he broke me. Again, 17 year old me had that one right. I'll survive.

Nothing men love more than to be ignored, left on read, and blocked. I mean this man literally showed up at my door at 6:15 am on a Sunday to get my attention. Thirsty ass hoes these days smh.

Went on a date with a cute man and 2 men named Matt from the dating app reached out, during said date, upon seeing this. Can't make this shit up.

A woman in yoga today, "have you seen the new Bruce Springsteen movie? I liked it, but it's kinda boring,...and long."