Serena, there’s no need to give him any validation by calling that /thing/ breakfast. I suggest we have Dan fixed immediately. And yes I do mean a lobotomy.

/Gross./ But my return will be the showstopper.

Freak. (Rolling her eyes.) What Chuck and I have is so special, I really don’t expect /you/ to understand.

The takedown of Georgina Sparks is right there in the platinum tier. Like the great fall of Rome.

Oh, Humphrey! Serena’s stepped away to the Hamptons for a quick family rendezvous. She asked me to make sure you didn’t return to the mole people in the meantime. Not that many would consider it a great loss. Dan Humphrey.

everybody annoying af i need my own earth

You’re positively dreadful. Dan Humphrey..

Look at you all chipper. You’re one of many to dip into this particular jar. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Ew, Serena. Ew.

Where the hell is Dan? His sister and his girlfriend are giving me a migraine.

Humphrey couldn’t keep track of his own legs if they weren’t attached to his body.

I know your secret, Dan Humphrey. and it’s one I’ll be glad to tell.

Mon otage, je danserai nue pour te plaire.

Well, I suppose Dorota can ruffle up something for you. It’ll be like we’re feeding the ducks.

Dan is driving me crazy. Does anyone want him? I’m offering 250 cash as a… Token of my appreciation.

(Reaching from out of no where to grab hold of the weathering leather strap of Dan Humphrey.’s satchel, she pulls him aside.) Dan Humphrey. Hm. Just the person I’ve been looking for.

Someone be a dear and throw another burlesque night. I need an excuse to wear more lace and shorter hemlines.

Where the hell is Chuck? Dan is useless at giving out information. -Someone- better tell me where Nate is.

Why in God’s name is -he- commenting on my relationship with Nate? Jealous much, Bass?