if i'm rudolph i'm so fucking pissed. you bullied me for years and now you want my help with a work emergency? get fucked losers, i'll see you on the breadlines

ever since i was a little girl i knew no man could ever tell me what the fuck to do

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you

ulta is another place where you just gotta accept your total fr

Hey, sorry for how I acted when our plans changed slightly. So long as everything from here on out goes exactly as I’ve planned forever, I won’t be like that again

how tf is weed legal in different states btch i thought we was united

Eat the rich (figuratively), because they're eating us (literally, apparently, what the fucking fuck)

so glad i was born in this generation i love smoking weed, the club, and telling nggas to shut the fck up!

If you’re so behind why you always the youngest in the room

first in my bloodline to smoke this much weed

They saying AI can hack into your phone and text someone at 1am when you’re drinking. Ya’ll please be safe fr.

i’m so easy to cut off im just like my dad i will not fight to stay in ur life

hannah baker a weak bitch i’m on reason 575 chin still up

After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today. I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this

Theo Von: “Satan is amongst us.” “They’re letting fucking politicians slurp on kids.” “All of our fucking money goes to Israel.” “And they’re using it to fucking genocide people.” “People are like, we'll the Democrats next time.” “But all the same shit has been happening

being a woman is the best thing on earth next to mexican food & weed

Jack Harlow reveals his aunt mistook a SNL skit for him, texting that she was proud he was “addressing everything.”

looking at my bank statement after treating apple pay like a wand