A wonderful performance made possible by an amazing organization (who I am also employed by, but I'm not biased, I swear)!

Hahahahaha Fotten Totten 💀

"Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow" is the superior lyric and I will not be taking questions.

The more I think about it, I have a lot of Christmas-music-related hot takes, and this is by far the most benign of them.

Listen, viola players get a lot of hate, but at least you’re fluent in the *checks notes* third-most-useful clef.

Follow up: we also say can o' lini beans to refer to a can of cannellini beans - like, "can you hand me the can-o-lini beans," or "this recipe needs two cans of lini beans."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

😂🙃🙃😂

The end is near.

A 16 year old was shot for ringing the wrong doorbell. A 20 year old was shot and killed for driving down the wrong driveway. An 18 year old is in critical condition for trying to get into the wrong car. And a 6 year old and her dad were shot because her basketball rolled onto

"Thrilled to announce" tweet incoming..... I'm moving to Chicago and, universe willing, not leaving until I'm a doctor!!

Dylan Mulvaney did a kitchenaid ad if anyone sees conservatives throwing out their kitchen aid stand mixers plz grab that shit I need one 🤣🤣🤣

I have eaten the Trader Joe's mac and cheese that was in the freezer and which you probably were hoping to try yourself someday Forgive me I work from home and have very little self-control

Wait not everyone can do this???

U.S. States Ranked By How Easy They Are To Form By Nibbling A Graham 1. Wyoming 2. Colorado 3. Ohio 4. Idaho … … 49. Maryland 50. Alaska