#Adulting – voting in the 2019 general election

My wife just texted to say Gavin from autoglass has just injected his special resin into her crack. I'm not normally suspicious but I've got the fucking car.

Phone rings: "Hello, this is Amazon seller support" Me: "Do you realise it's Sunday morning? Amazon: "Yes, sir... We operate 7 days a week and I would..." Me (Interrupting): "Well I don't work Sundays so please fuuuuucccckk offffffff" 😴

if you get a link called 'free porn' don't opin it. It is a virus wich deactavates your spelcheck and fcuks up you riting. I also receivd it but lukily I don't uatch porn sol dint opin it. Please warm yu frends. Wanks.

The level of detail on these things are insane!

Fuck! #Whamageddon

Last push today before I get to take a bit of time off for Christmas! It's been no secret that I have had a tough year and been though some massive changes, but I can honestly say that 2019 coming to a positive end.... facebook.com/513698732/post…

Shout out to all the lads who are just starting their Christmas wrapping! #WeGotThis 🎁

Home security reminder. A lot of people are going away over the festive season, which makes their homes easy pickings for burglars. For security reasons I strongly recommend leaving one of your children behind to... facebook.com/513698732/post…

If you don't know the difference between "their", "there" and "they're"... Your an idiot.

Mum: "Grab the shopping out of the car" Me:

Hobo Solo +2 Reunion World Tour 2020! Who's in?

Such a chilled start to 2020, hidden away in this beautiful little cabin in the woods in Berkhamsted... It's a shame we have to leave today.

The first 10 people who comment on this post will receive from me, sometime during the course of 2020, a surprise, going to dinner, some coffee, a letter, book, sweets... whatever I can think of. The only condition... facebook.com/513698732/post…

Holy shit, that Netflix documentary "Don't F**k Witch Cats" is insane!

Today was meant to be my first day back at work, but have a full on Cold/Flu bug. Not ideal 😟

Right in the feels... Artist link in comments ❤️

Dexter is starting ballet today and I couldn't be more proud of him! #LetKidsBeKids

Just made this Witcher design but can't decide which colour t-shirt it should go on... Black, Sport Grey or Dark Heather?

Getting ready for Valentines!