my student loan providers could be gay therefore i refuse to give them my business

Over the last 5 years my uncle and I haven’t spoken a single word to eachother at family events beside him offering me a beer once

still amazes me how one of the main criticisms of Bernie’s candidacy was that the right would call him a communist lmao

Elon Musk made a bad $44 billion investment after a lifetime of free rides and it made him so angry he’s spent the last year going “let’s kill trans 😭😭😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡!!” Zuckerberg meanwhile vaporized trillions and all his posts are still like “TV is awesome to watch :)”

No.

Some rich twat totally did this for some sort of tax write-off right?

*taps table* usa usa USA USA YOU ESS AYE YOU ESS AYE

The funniest things about all the changes since Elon took over is that they don’t look or feel like they should be there

And 2 seconds into scrolling the thread that made me think of my last tweet, there was porn

Good morning! Reminder: healthcare can never have a “free market” because the demand is always there. It’s unethical to profit off illness. Insulin should be free. Medicine should be free. Healthcare should be free. Healthcare workers will still be paid.

SAG-AFTRA

just a reminder that if some one contacts you using my name or avatar and asks for you for gift cards or cc info its me. give me the money

My finest parenting moment is when I sent my son to daycare in a jean jumpsuit and then at pickup, his shy teacher whispered “the jean jumpsuit was a sensation” and informed me that word had spread throughout the school and teachers were traveling from other classrooms to see it

So I’m confused, he’s inside this thing? Is he tiny?

I can’t believe Dick Butkus is a real name

Getting high then thinking about my future vows and crying

At the function texting my therapist