(Reading a novel with a third person narrator) who said that? (looking around the room) where ARE you?

[reading a book in first person] i dont remember doing any of this

i'm assembling a team

Inspiring

just an incredible flow of tweets

if you're open-mouthed coughing in a public space like an ill toddler when you're a grown-ass adult who knows to cover your face i will Kill You With A Gun. i have that right

been reading and taking inspiration from "steering the craft" by le guin. god, she is sorely missed

commanding all my men to shoot their crossbows directly upwards and then remain still. there is no room for anyone with bad luck in my warband. fate will weed them out

Suckingham Phallus

A mouse hearing a secret: I’m sworn to squeakrecy

me: i love you so much my intelligent rat companion my intelligent rat companion: youre the cracker to my cheese me: i dont think u can call me that rat companion

hamburger help us

accidentally parries your high five and watches in horror as my riposte begins

worst part of the literacy crisis is that you can’t use hyperbole or be dramatic anymore without some dumb fucking idiot thinking that you sincerely believe whatever exaggeration you said

I'm pushing on pull doors in buildings you've never heard of

i feel like if you were a hamster i would have to teach you

rly obsessed w this WWI puppet from the Imperial War Museum’s tiktok page