I am thinking about potato salad

teague *playing video games*: woah bad guys, i know you’re mad, but please leave me alone!!!

so i’m dancing in the living room, waiting for my food to be done and my 5 year old nephew says, very unimpressed i might add, “why are you dancing with a fork? you could stab yourself. you should know better.” what has kindergarten done to u

High school teachers: “you need to start taking things seriously or else your college professors will eat you alive.” College professors:

Please look at my professor, he turned 75 and we threw him a surprise party with his favorite cheesecake

just another day being an absolute sweetie pie

heard on the ainsworth scanner: there’s a verbal dispute...he’s trying to go to bed and she won’t stop talking.

“i have lots of anxiety, but i have passion” ok same Nailed It!

ur gpa doesn’t matter in the real world. but u know what does matter? kohl’s cash

someone pls stop me😂😭😭 i keep buying christmas presents for MYSELF

does ur heart ever just go 🦋 💓 💓 🦋 💓 🦋 💓 🦋 Pasta 🦋 💓 💓 🦋 🦋 💓

I have spilled wine on my nicest sweat pants

thankful for people who dim their headlights

What a beautiful day time to go back to bed

if your dog stretches and you dont say "OH BIG STRETCH" every single time then you are a psychopath and i dont want to know you

The University is 100% protected from COVID-19 thanks to Duo Two-Factor Authorization

if y’all are gonna wear masks please at least wear them correctly