hope my kids funny bc im not fake laughing in my own house

just paid a bill. i can't keep doing this

“do not disturb” isn't just the phone setting, Its a lifestyle.

Maintenance asked for pictures because the air was off air and my roommate puts this 💀

"How many days are there until Christmas?"

Scuse me

i be like “i can’t wait for fall fits” then fall comes and i dress like this

he be kiIIing people and still be able to text back. don’t settle for less ladies

i post & delete cause wtf do i be talking ab

If they would’ve given me adderall in sixth grade I would be a homeowner by now

nobody: my ceiling fan that’s been on high speed nonstop for 5 years:

I need SpongeBob’s energy and motivation. That mf was ALWAYS ready for work😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

when your dog somewhere quiet asf🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Do you have health insurance? Me:

I be looking at apartments/houses like I’m moving out tomorrow 😂