Don’t cut your own bangs whilst high...

What base is it when you buy her these?

JLO and Shakira showing us all that lip syncing is alive and well

@S11E11B11A

Being cute just died. Men are going to want a woman that can catch a chicken now.

Is this your first pandemic? ~Me flirting

Rub my butt and tell me everything's gonna be ok?

Say you’ll legalize weed. You win. Dumbass old motherfuckers.

leslie knope right now

All them planets in the solar system and you still a square

All them lights of Aurora Borealis and you livin in the dark

wanna feel old? it’s still today

It’s the hypocrisy for me

To teachers everywhere, Thank You. This is in your honor. #Inauguration2021 #CelebratingAmerica #TimesLikeThese

[Every time I’m listening to my 80’s playlist] 6yo: is this guy dead? 6yo: is THIS guy dead? 6yo: how dead is this guy? Me: *just sobbing quietly into my tea*

The Wells Fargo ATM just wished me a Happy Belated Birthday, Meanwhile, I still haven’t gotten a bday text from my own mother 🥰

I know I'm special because the guy at Subway gave me 3 napkins