My life was forever changed today when I discovered the self-service bread slicer at Whole Foods. The greatest thing since sliced bread is in fact being able to slice your own bread

Hot take: If an unsigned artist in Nashville introduces their next song as “this song is the one that changed my life,” there’s an 84% chance that it is not good

Who brings a baby to Jurassic Park? And why did multiple people do it?

My day started with my Lyft driver mansplaining that my address is wrong (it’s not) and that I live on a different street (I don’t). If that’s the case, explain how I’ve been getting my mail for the past six weeks, James, because if even the USPS can find me…

If you’re going to cough all flight, either wear a mask or cover your fucking mouth

The Atlanta Airport B terminal smells like cream of mushroom soup 🤔

When Grubhub/Grubhub Care won’t refund your order when the photo provided is A) a house you’ve never seen before B) taken in broad daylight when your order was “delivered” at 9:26 pm Absolute crooks

If I carry on a backpack and a belt bag, my backpack is going in the overhead bin. If I bring a roller bag and backpack, I’ll put my bag at my feet. Just because someone else didn’t pack light doesn’t mean I have to give up my legroom 💁🏼‍♀️

It’s my favourite time of year. My life has changed drastically with each passing year but I can always count on the Leafs to do what they do best!

The refs calling this game like they’re going to get rings too if Edmonton wins

Anyone who says first class passengers want to board first so all the “peasants” see them sitting in first is wrong. We want time to enjoy our first cocktail before takeoff

Circling back to this because we didn’t have waters at our seats nor did the flight attendant take drink orders and we’ve just pushed back. This is a new, yet unpleasant experience for someone who did not buy a water because they always regret buying one when seated in first

Okay, can we all agree that the end credits of each season of Bakeoff is so wholesome? Like 12 people started off competing for a crystal cake stand and by the end, they’re all pals frolicking on some bloke’s farm or taking a cross-country road trip

He doesn’t have to accept the pardon. If he did nothing wrong be a man and turn it down… But you know he won’t because everyone knows he’s guilty of so much.

Hot take: if a public transit ticket costs more than $30, there should be hygiene requirements to board. My nose doesn’t need to be assaulted by the great unwashed on Amtrak

Like, I’m already headed to NYC where everything smells like pot and human waste…I don’t need a headache from being stuck in an enclosed space