I will eat a potato literally in any way it is served to me

Me wine-drunk putting on a private show for my cat at 3 AM

this is the perfect definition of an Aries

Something about a palm tree

whoever created taco bell’s diablo sauce needs to be fired immediately

you know she a good woman when she start speaking wit a british accent for no reason

I’m smoking cigarettes you’ve never heard of in alleys you’ve never been to

the way I would fight a war for brittnay broski

“it’s fine everything happens for a reason”

Espresso Martini just hit the blood stream

Hour 36. I dropped my boarding pass in the toilet.

Youre 25? Yeah it’s over

Buying a toddler a first class seat is crazy

I hope someone loves you so well you never have to watch a tarot reading again