Purchasing gasoline entitles you to locate your car at a pump: A. for the duration of your consumer experience on the premises. B. until you have finished using the pump.

I realize my last couple tweets have been me complaining about people using parking lots incorrectly. I’ll get us back to regularly scheduled programming now.

However, Bunny Money™ is redeemable at the bar, our gift shop, and our sister club in Fort Myers, Florida. wired.com/story/hack-bin…

Things Vim users accidentally type into Slack: jkuujkkkkjkjk:q Sorry, Jason Merrill.

#SubtractionChat

I mean, the “preaching” is a pretty important distinction here, yeah? Traditional sexual morality isn’t about women deciding to fuck less. It’s about men telling women to fuck less. So the less fucking part doesn’t take us a very long way toward this exciting rediscovery.

`git push` is my favorite way to find all my typos

“[M]ost of the time this happens, it will probably be a user error that produces a confusing plot, slowly.” — Jason Merrill diagnosing the worst kind of error

So, Darbs, meet Caitlin Murphy. You should be friends.

Curious whether Sarah Taber has developed a take on /Anna Karenina/. Because I came for the love story, but I’m pretty into Levin’s farm.

“Let’s not have a conversation that none of us knows the point of.” — Jason Merrill, as always, proving that he’s good at being in charge of stuff

The only blemish on the entire series is that Ron Swanson would definitely know that Corinthian leather isn't a real thing.

I’m going to get off this website soon, with no particular plan to come back. DMs are open. If you want to correspond via the U.S. Postal Service, message me and we can make that happen. Otherwise I’ll hit you with the goosebumps walkaway in a couple weeks.

The most impressive thing about Frank Thomas’s career is that he is—somehow—the best actor in every single one of those Nugenix commercials.

Roads in Los Angeles don’t have speed limits so much as they have speed aspirations.

I’ve had a few people take me up on my offer to communicate with me via paper and postal workers. DM me if you want to get in on the action.

👋 goodbye.gif

I have rarely experienced a failure of the imagination so complete as standing on Omaha Beach, looking in.