white people say they're “cooking up a storm” then it ends up being a plate of hotdogs or something

linus was always an instigator

I think part of why this post endures is that it makes everyone who reads it into a cartoonist in their own mind.

this came to me in a dream

the infamous megalodog

my legacy

accidentally drank a THC seltzer

these dads putting 'comedian' in their bio is equivalent to people putting 'school of hard knocks' under education on facebook

every morning i think about the former ceo of costco threatening to kill anyone who raised the price of the hotdog and apply that same energy to anyone who sends me an email

dont fear the reaper