Going to Alton Towers for my birthday instead of going out this weekend and I am thrilled about it, does this mean I’m getting old or does it mean I’m getting young?

40 traded handmade friendship bracelets later and gems in places I didn’t know were accessible which fully compensates for my raging migraine Taylor Swift has my heart. What a cracking day #ErasTourCardiff

Me trying to override the Fairy Odd Parents theme tune in my head with a slower/quieter song so I can sleep every night

Not me spending my Friday night shouting at kids on Fortnite with my cat

Obviously I prioritised my cats first flea crisis instead of going to hospital (apparently INDOOR cats can still get fleas after monthly vet treatment) Tesco at 9pm for flea treatment, house spray, a new flea collar, and bathed him in AGONY spoiler: he still doesn’t love me 😄

Well if crashing my car on the M4 wasn’t enough today I came home to cat sick in the kitchen and then dropped my phone down the stairs top to bottom on to the tiled floor someone euthanise me

Burying my dad tomorrow and my algorithms keep showing Christmas gifts for dads I could literally throw my phone out the window 💔

Going for a record in least amount of time spent on a night out still trying to beat my 3 hour stint from a couple weeks ago but back home in bed after 4.5 hours today and enjoying 🙃

Someone tell me why I’m still paying for paper shopping bags when the government bag charge was introduced to minimise single use plastic bags?

Incorrect. I am both.

Outlook just autofilled a division-wide email address on my work emails and obviously I didn’t check before clicking send so now a whole division has received my HR forms happy Friday 😀😀😀

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I know I’m 30 but the jump between looking forward to a night out and now only waiting for the arrival of a new sofa was vicious

People who don’t like cats, have simply never been loved by a cat.

Dear old people: Waking up at 6am, tending to a garden, eating dinner at 5pm, reading books, and going to bed at 9:30pm feels amazing. I was wrong. You were right.

Did you think women were gonna organise it for you?lmao😭

The early morning drooling 😂

Please share this with the men in your life.