There are symposiums everywhere for those with the eyes to see

Absolutely gorgeous mid-20s summer Friday. I probably have 30 of these left, ever. Im gonna play video games in my apartment

Obama cooking a wild mushroom crostata in the prison mess hall only to have the guards call it “fag pizza”.

Man gives advice like he’s a raccoon who just discovered LinkedIn.

>looking for new apartment >ask leasing agent if it’s aesthetically pleasing >she laughs “it’s hydrocore urbanism, sir” >go inside >it’s soulless building by a dirty river

I like cooking dinner for my beautiful fiancee. But more than that I like leaving all the nasty caked on dishes for her to clean while I look at my phone and fart and drink soda and play with my nuts. I am trying to become more hateful and cruel to people in my life this year.

The Perpetual Season

Is it gay to end the story of how you and a bro met with “and the rest is history”

The advent of caffeinated protein kombucha will soon be upon us