Now that I’m officially the family’s mac n cheese lady, I move different in the house

For the first time in 3 years, I can comfortably sit in an airplane seat, and without a seat belt extender. Please clap.

Everyone on Monday

Every time I see Taylor Swift it's like if Sweet Dee actually became famous.

Put the parents & the kids in jail. Sue the entire school district. Fire the teachers. Beat up the grandparents of the bullies bc they failed their entire bloodline…

CEOs are in danger, we need to put all of them in a submarine until we know it's safe

Rapists and pedophiles should get the death penalty I don’t care how fucked up your childhood was

Baby that hitman was out the country before that CEO hit the ground good. He a professional. They not finding him.

i will make January 6 look like an ice cream social

Costco CEO who loses his shit at even the suggestion of raising the hot dog price is the only one safe

the airport is a lawless place that is free from judgement

POV: your insurance claim was denied by UnitedHealthcare