accidentally became important at work n its ruining my life

‼️BREAKING: HARRIS CAMPAIGN HAS TAPPED POMMEL HORSE TWINK AS RUNNING MATE. ANNOUNCEMENT EXPECTED SOON‼️

Her plans are measured in centuries

these children wouldn’t notice taste if it slapped them in the face.

the beginning of a Wu Tang Clan song but instead of saying Wu Tang they say Moo Deng

Tampa General Hospital is on Davis Island in Tampa Bay, which is an area that very vulnerable to storm surge. The hospital placed a temporary barrier that resists up to 15 feet of storm surge, allowing them to maintain operations. It worked well!

It's midnight in Georgia...the moment we've been waiting for! Jimmy Carter is now officially 100 years old!! 🥳 Happy birthday, Mr. President!!! 🎂  The Carter Center

what if liam payne faked his death so that he could win the masked singer ?? directioners please don’t flame me i’m coping

nobody tells you that moving to a new city and making new friends means having to explain your lore constantly. this is me on someone's couch every weekend

being annoyed is the price you pay for community. it means having guests when you'd rather be alone. it means letting someone live with you even when they get on your nerves. it means showing up for events that you'd rather not go to. it means turning the other cheek.

or as the Jews call it, Shmutz Wednesday.

YUM

Having an unrelated live-in boyfriend increases the likelihood of your child being molested by 40X & the likelihood of dying from inflicted injuries by 50X Significantly more dangerous than driving drunk with your kids, but accepted as routine

Pardon me while I sob uncontrollably

babe are you ok? it’s already q4 and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap”

i bring a 'divorce your husband if he bothers you so much' vibe to gatherings that married ladies who complain a lot, dont like at all

how it feels to say “girl whatever” instead of arguing