First and last time I go abroad with a young child. Good fucking lordddd man

How bloody wonderful does your own bed feel after holiday

I am so sick of always being unwell then indie catches it then it just goes back and forward forever while stupid wee cunt Sam goes untouched 😡🙃

A child with a sickness bug is the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life 😩😩😩😩

It’s really lovely driving from ferry to Kirky now. The roads so silky smooth

Why did no one tell me It’s actually impossible to juggle work a no well child and child care. AGGHHH

Just went out with my glasses on for the first time. feels like I’m seein the world in HD it’s so wonderfullll

Nothing like getting woke up at 6am on a Sunday to your child singing her heart out to blabla black sheep

Went to Perth swimming and I’ve gone to so much effort to keep my hair dry cause lunch after. Indie decided to have a melt down underneath the bucket of water that tips up, went to pick her up and the whole fucking thing tipped over my heed 😩😩 fucking fuckkkk maaaan 😳😡

That’s me retired from the vodka

If anyone sees ma bairn out and about don’t ask, Sam dressed her 😩😳

I have managed to single handedly wreck ma whole hoooose within 5 minutes. STRESSED

Starting to speak in sentences is the best stage yet 😂😂😂 was just scratching my head and indie goes ‘mummy scratch beasties’ what the hell 😂😂😂

Depressed as fuck that this time next year I’ll be 30 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Help

I must be the most unfriendliest looking person in the whole of the UK but still always get fuckin picked to go on stage 😟😟😟

Dunno what I’d do without the gals. Real life angels 😫🫶🤍

Someone please take Andy Stewart’s deep fat fryer off him. Am sick to death of him hummin the whole stair oot of chip fat

Don’t ever get your tonsils out guys. Fucking horrendous ordeal

I am not okay