Went from “Ma can I go...” to “Bye I’ll be back” 🤣

i’m addicted to buying clothes & i am not rich enough to have this problem

training a new employee like:

Me: *Doesn’t understand something* Professor that has studied the subject for 42 years:

Must be nice to sit at home all summer and spend mommy and daddy’s money

Some of you have never worked a minimum wage job and been yelled at by middle aged women and it shows

to all boys— one day you will be holding your sobbing daughter in your arms wanting to do absolutely nothing but destroy the boy that broke her heart. only to realize that you used to be the same guy.

If you’re reading this... Don’t give up... You will be successful.