nobody: my 56 year old prediabetic 100 lb mom when i give her a bite of my banana: you know this is like cake to me.

dad: *yelling: SHANNON? me: *shouting: YEAH? dad: *yelling: SHANNON me: *yelling: YEAH? dad: *yelling:i got you granola me: 🥰🥰🥰👍🏼👍🏼

just found out Sarah was filming and playing both of these characters at the same time........

Students of the Dance Theatre of Harlem dancing through the streets of New York City

Mentally I am here.

people who talk too quietly give me anxiety because i can’t hear them and i’m missing what they’re saying, and people who talk loudly give me anxiety because it sounds like they’re yelling. so in conclusion don’t talk to me

it’s the same homophobic straight guys who say that doing makeup is gay that beg their gfs for anal and refuse to eat pussy... make it make sense

why do some white men wanna be oppressed sooooo bad they’re always like “i should be able to say this slur” WHY? u like making people uncomfortable? u like making yourself superior? actually yea it makes sense now. that’s what men do 😅

question of the day: are assholes just uneducated or do they know that they’re being offensive/rude/mean and just not care

My cousin got me a new shirt

having kids is unethical because they will eventually have to go to middle school at some point and that should be considered child abuse

Bridgit Mendler can do a PHD at MIT (she is currently) but not a single man in STEM could do Good Luck Charlie

“It's all about what makes you feel good” Billie is on the cover of British Vogue. Read the cover story now: vogue.co.uk/news/article/b…

i don’t think anyone ever fully recovers from the fucked up stuff they did to themselves at 14

how is skateboarding going to be in the olympics if you cant smoke weed

ah sorry i’d love to but i’m booked solid!

walking in a winter wonderland but instead of snow it’s an absurd amount of dandelion fluff

me: *telling what i think is a hilarious story from my childhood* friend: i’m so sorry that happened to you

From charming to alarming in seconds