the way they’re selling paper towels should be illegal you can’t just keep writing 6 paper towel rolls are 14 paper towel rolls I’m sick of being jerked around

getting called into the office bc the bosses don't know how to forward an email

Three chicken strips. You're going to sell me three chicken strips. Why don't you sell me five fucking grains of rice. Fries by the each

It's fucked up that biting the inside of your cheek is possible

Hey guys get a load of this absolute loser trying to talk to me on this dating app I am also on

hey honey, remember the conversation we had earlier this week? well, everyone on Reddit says that you are the asshole.

when people tell me about their physical insecurities like woahh i never noticed before but yea i totally see it now

#owned #FuckU #ArmadillosProtectedByGod

just got revenge on someone who wronged me 6 years ago. never be relaxed ever. im coming

astonishing how whenever you go to the post office the queue in front of you is made up almost entirely of people who appear to have ended up at the post office by accident, have in fact never visited a post office before, and have no idea what they want out of the experience

wow, yikes, unfollowing now. was a huge fan of his work as an assassin. had no idea he was ordering starbucks despite the boycotts

i love my dog but this mf gotta pay rent

the fagcent transcends language barriers i see

hi everybody the weekend is here

mine used to say “are u 18” on a jersey and then I started feeling creepy so I switched to one saying I’m 21