Coming this weekend to the club is Chris J Joe Fernandes and John Heffron - grab your tickets here!!! unclevinniescomedyclub.com/comedy-schedul…

You are who your algorithm says you are. Apparently, I'm a man in need of a donut shop run by Dominican women with corgis.

A buddy always wants to debate world politics until I remind him we met in remedial math in college, so we wrangle over the best burger joint instead.

Not sure what the eclipse did to my eyes, but I feel way more attractive.

Just closed my Apple exercise ring chasing down a Mr. Softee truck 🍦

Still the best OJ Simpson line Ken Griffey Jr’s reaction 💀😂

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I keep expecting to hear, “Live from New York, Its Saturday Night!” #debate

When your girl asks where you were last night. #debate

The past two nights at @unclevinniescomedyclub were a lot of fun. I appreciate everyone that came out. I’ll be back August 14. Hope to see you back there to finish out the Summer. Bring your friends! 📸 by @emilypaigecomedy (I saw her taking it and totally sucked in my gut)

Joe Fernandes is back this month! Catch him on 10/24! Tickets available at ci.ovationtix.com/35774/producti…

At the urinal, a guy next to me let out a loud sigh of relief, looked my way, and said, 'Best part of the day!' I kept my focus and responded, 'You're making this the worst part of mine.'

The UnitedHealthcare CEO's murder has received so much coverage that he must be in-network.

I’m old enough to remember when Teslas were for Snowflakes.

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just a reminder

Everything is advertised with protein now. Chips. Ice cream. Fentanyl.