ye ever wanty just wrap yersel up in tin foil nice and cosy and then just fucking get right inty the microwave and blow yersel up tae fuck

if the salary is so competitive why won't you tell me what it is? 😌

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household

You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."

Ohhhh so now I’m the bad guy. Just for being a huge bitch

the prevailing themes of summer 2025 will be Love and Friendship

my goal for June is small simple and clear: change my whole entire life

spent this morning at the google accessibility design centre with the product designers on my team was super interesting seeing all the accessibility hardware, v cool

You're gonna have to proscribe the whole fucking world, you genocidal freaks.

At midnight, Palestine Action will be proscribed under the Terrorism Act. Their real “crime”? Exposing the UK’s role in arming Israel’s genocide. This is a dark day for our democracy. Criminalising non-violent resistance won’t silence the truth. We are all Palestine Action 🇵🇸

London mutuals: please share and get in touch if you see Melissa, she's been missing since Friday and we want to make sure she's safe

I’m on way at to the dentist. x

god: i have made Mankind angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety

kid in berlin, 2040: im the child of immigrants, we were very poor. in 2013 my parents left their home country of melbourne in search of more authentic parties and cheaper k. they never learned the language and spent 30 years working in cafes. i someday hope to be a doctor.