🌷✨TULIP CLOCK GIVEAWAY✨🌷 Thank y’all for the love on the tulip clock KS & preorder🫶 Prize: 1 pastel tulip clock🌈 💕TO ENTER: ✨ Follow 💌 + Retweet 🔄 ✨ Comment a home decor item you wanna see us design 🎀 𝘎𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 Mar. 2nd

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Rainbow pride kitty 🌈💜

Terrified to visit my girlfriend’s small town for the holidays because I’m a workaholic from a big city and everyone keeps trying to teach me the true meaning of Christmas.

Love that CNN has adopted the Dominos pizza tracker format for trial updates

big day for mexicans

Saw a burning car today on a street named Vineburn. Amazing.

this cannot be the same brain that earned a bachelor’s degree

sobbing over these mail plushies the USPS sells

(Build a bear employee gets home from work) do you even know how many bears I built today. And here you are sitting on your ass playing on your computer WIFE: I make 400,000 dollars a year you don’t need to work there

oh to be lowered into a toaster with you, my bread slice wife

ok I found out what this button does

today is my dog's birthday so he is allowed a cigarette

can’t even knock on wood these days. that’s why it’s all going bad. “knock on laminated particle board”. go fuck yourself. that’s insane

unfortunately i have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man

wait… if you’re circling back and i’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation??

all $220 recovered lol

You are employable. You are loved. You are enough.

a customer couldn't decide between two desserts and her boyfriend said "just get both, it's your day" and I was like "omg is it your birthday??" and she said "no, he says that every day"

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms. ‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms. But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.