I can appreciate that @Dominos now has a CarPlay app. Please let me know when @Slack develops one.

When is the last time you saw the buzzards go hungry? In your own way always try and help others.

I’ve seen so many, I’m longer impressed by your school bus to house-on-wheels conversion.

My first day in Prague and every meal had fried cheese as its main course.

70 year olds explaining to each other WhatsApp on the train from Venice to Florence is more entertaining than the NBA Finals.

I’m not sure I deserve the double ply at the WestinExcelsiorRome. Come check it out.

whiskey mixed with gingerale and the women you love in a bikini is the key to happiness. #makeithappen

As the style of men’s shorts get shorter the style or men’s socks get longer and vice versa.

There is no better move in an action thriller than the good guy grabbing the arm of the bad guy holding a gun and using that guy’s arm, with the gun still in his hand, to shoot another bad guy.

I feel a little sorry for all of you out there getting to promoted to Assistant Regional Manager. #theoffice #jokes

Yeah if I was Chip Foose no one would care if I was still tucking t-shirts in my jeans either.

Attention Autocorrect - I promise I have never and/or promise to never use “defiantly” in a sentence. I am always mistyping “definitely”

The humidity in Texas is good for one thing…softening up those Nila Wafers. 😋

I appreciate you bringing me a glass for my beer but…I’m blue color at heart.

1 to 1 LETS GO! #nationsfaceoff #USAvsCAN 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I just left my phone’s flashlight on for who knows how long. I’m going to start picking out elderly care center’s tomorrow.

I think ABC saw an opportunity to nix a contract with someone who was not bringing in ratings. I don’t think what Kimmel said was that controversial, or different than what others are saying.

A little Dutch language twist: ask for “patat” in Amsterdam, say “friet” – in some suburbs they might raise an eyebrow. But the end game? Fries. #LanguageFun #DutchCulture

Not a coincidence that Girl Scouts cookies come out when everyone is about to give up their New Years Resolutions.

Congrats to 23XI Racing, Micheal Jordan, & Tyler Reddick for winning the #Daytona500