It might seem like 2022 is about to end and 2023 will begin tomorrow, but that depends on which calendar you use:

all these men vying for Speaker and none running to be Listener. makes u think

I, as a person, just got hit by a car (just a little tho) 2023 is gonna be interesting.

Tourist Tip: Pike Place Fishmongers Will Toss Your Kid if You Slip Them $50: bit.ly/3Ivtind

artistic parallels

The perfect way to play 2 player Bananagrams is to start with 24 tiles and grab 2 each draw. You’re welcome.

MUPPET NEPO-BABIES: a thread… Scooter: starting off easy. His uncle owns the Muppet Theater #MuppetNepoBabies

Remember that one time I almost got to see Maya Angelou?

I’m 28 and just got my eyes dilated for the first time ever. This has to be some sort of record.

The recipe I’m making (vegetable biryani) calls for 10 cloves of garlic. FINALLY a recipe starts with a reasonable amount of garlic.

I will be running for president in 2024 with a platform demanding self-brushing teeth.

The Black Panther movies/world blow every other Marvel movie out of the water.

Lost my debit card so I canceled it and requested a new one. They said it could take “a couple of weeks” for a new one. WHAT

🧵I’ve said before that American evang. churches basically raise girls who are pre-groomed. I’ve attributed that to undue trust in men in the church and excessive suspicion of people outside of it (who could tell girls that what they’re experiencing is not healthy or normal).

Matt just said he was, “going to hop on a call real quick” *sigh* We’ve lost another to corporate stoogery.

Mount Rainier Expected to Let Out Little Fart in Celebration of Ash Wednesday: bit.ly/3Y2nnu0

Decided that all the greenery at my future wedding will be herbs (thinking dill, garlic, rosemary etc) so that the vibe is … savory.

Sound Transit’s New Escher-lators Broken in Three Different Planes of Existence: bit.ly/3ZJ5QZ5

Good morning to everyone except people who trample a meadow of rare flowers to get 12 likes on Instagram

Gorgeous gorgeous girls eat French fried onions as if they are potato chips.