A great move when meeting a guy is to wet two of your fingers deep in your mouth and then jam them into his shirt pocket while you’re shaking his hand

You become a pastor and people love to call you, “pastor.”

I stopped biting my nails after 20 years…. What was my trick? I told myself I was too old for it now and just stopped.

Don’t care how cold it is, you can’t keep me inside when gas is $2.85.

Fire Roger Goodell and anyone else involved that’s taken this long to call this game.

Joe Burrow on the idea of a championship window: “The window’s my whole career.”

My electric stove is good tbh. Wish gas stoves were banned before I inhaled a bunch of chemicals.

Reminder:

Bengals win, talk begins about how good other QB’s are, Bengals win again, repeat.

Whatever happens tonight, it's been a tremendous season and I appreciate all of you. Who Dey?! Having said that, I'm not ready for this season to be over. Whatever it takes.

Strength and guidance.. all that I’m wishing for my friends ❤️

🚨 ANNOUNCING ELLY DE LA CRUZ 🚨 Welcome to The Show, Elly De la cruz‼️

🚨 PS5 GIVEAWAY 🚨 As y’all know, we’ve been planning on giving away a PS5 to one of y’all for a while…. But then Activision stepped in and sent us not one… not two… but THREE new Call Of Duty Edition PS5s to give away. All you have to do to enter is follow us, retweet

SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED.

[obama buying a suit] gotta have them pants… and jacket too!

The lion doesn’t concern himself with Microsoft teams notifications

“I asked chatgpt” “I asked grok” Well, I asked our Lord and Savior.. RT if this touched you. Like if this was what you needed to hear today.

Get her in a room with Stephen A ASAP