“we want grandkids” best I can do is alcoholism

Where do rainbows go when they’re bad? Prism. It’s a light sentence

We told you the end of the world would be fucking stupid, and here we are. Whoopity do. Please remember to eat arbys

I’m not saying I need new glasses but I have been sending this emoji 🥗 to people thinking it’s a Christmas wreath.

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 13 years, since 14 Jan 2010 (via Twi Age 🥳).

PT @justanowlet Gaslighting well is really hard but totally worth it.

Every year, more than 1,300 Albertans from the south are forced to travel to Calgary for cardiac services such as cardiac MRIs, ablations, angiograms, and angioplasties. No more. Alberta's NDP will build a world-class cardiac expansion at the Chinook Hospital in Lethbridge.

I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diets, tiny feets, and sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.

I'll be deep frying something later on, because Sunday is the lard's day.

World record onion broken!!

Alberta, our govt has just quietly let foreign coal-co Northback/Benga REAPPLY for coal & water rights @ Grassy Mtn, headwaters of Oldman watershed in a critical drought. They'll take drinking & ag H2O, ruin the rest & leave us a huge $$ mess. Info: surl.li/ltvtd Pls RT

*cranberries voice* in my bed, in my bed comfy, comfy

The Sagittarius paradox

Today is Ted Danson’s birthday.

I heard someone call the pandemic “the pandy” and it’s been bothering me for three months.

Her name is cloudzilla and she is mighty

This has sent me to heaven I am deceased