My spearmint allo tastes better in the bathroom of a Michelin star restaurant

Why is it that not every liquor store is a cold zone, but every cold zone is a liquor store

Whose trying to get silly at the Nordstrom bar with me?

Hey guys, looking for new friends on Skype. Same username as here

Things I look forward to in a day: - rubbing my belly and saying “mmm” before any meal - …

Don’t text, I’m in my Chekhov era

In my Joseph Gordon Levitt era rn. Don’t ask me what that means, I’m still trying to figure it out..

Not to be that guy, but that’s a mid bottle of wine

Hey guys just an update on my era; feeling more of a Phillip Seymour Hoffman vibe tonight. Gonna see where that takes me

None of my friends are allowed to date people who are prettier than me

I hope mac demarco comes to juice bar tn

Need to date another 30 year old that hates me

Haul

Monday vibes

My shopping trip did not go as planned :/

If I saw you last night and we spoke, NO WE DIDNT

If a cafe smells too much like cinnamon buns I’m not interested

Jewellers are the female equivalent of tattoo artists