i genuinely dk how the fuck am i supposed to have kids...ur telling me if they suggest getting ice cream for dinner and picking up another dog on our way back i have to say no and act like thats not a great fuckin idea lmfao sorry im not fake

Happy 22nd Birthday kyleigh. Thanks for always being my bad influence/hype man, even when you live 1,000 miles away. We haven't taken a pic since hs, probs too busy going for endless drives. I love you to pieces. Thanks to your mom for giving me you. Gosh, we were weird.

On this fateful day 10 years ago, Michael Scott fell into the koi pond. Press F to pay respects.

Friendly reminder: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, paid $1000 just to hug his wife.

My sister stepped on a mirror and broke it and now the concert is postponed. Way to go Katie Paulson

My friend's boyfriend ditched their dinner date on their one year anniversary to run errands. Like if you think she should leave him.

BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT

Activities with low risk of contracting COVID-19: -Running -Petting your dog -Cycling -Playing with your dog -Rewatching Breaking Bad -Looking at your dog -Puzzles -Reminding your dog that he/she is a "good dog" -Open-water swimming -Replying to this with a picture of your dog(s)

i truly don’t understand how couples cuddle while they sleep. give your partner a kiss goodnight and turn opposite directions like an adult

SOMEONE SEND ME NEW MUSIC, IM DESPERATE.

I would literally take a hug from a stranger at this point

i miss the u i met

Hi, I need friends.

My friend didn’t text this guy (that she had only been on one date with) back for less than 24 hours... why are men literally psychotic 😟 Twitter do your thing

Only thing I miss about HS is writing myself a note, forging my mom's signature and getting the fuck outta there. I dont think my boss would fall for that now.

Attack attack really just come out 8 years later and release a great song?? Im shook

For anyone wondering what color the word "hand" is