You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.....

A straight face and a sincere-sounding "Huh?" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember....

My son Romeo Nightingale asked me what it's like to be married.. so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me....

I think my neighbor Ste McQueen is stalking me I saw him through my telescope last night.... #hollyoaks

Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?

A pleasure to have my company I’m sure...

Parenting is easy once you learn the secret. For the love of god please tell me the secret...

How do people lose their kids at the supermarket Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated...

My Mother has been smelling something burning since 1983..

He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words...

I hate men that complain about being single every 3 minutes....

The first step to causing drama is making sure you tell everyone you hate drama...

#NewProfilePic yes I’m waiting for lockdown to end like....

I said who do you think you are.. John Paul McQueen

Send this one packing.. I’ll make a bank transfer 50p Final offer..

Let me make this simple, I want to be invited but I don't want to go....

We may not be the 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 family, but our 𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 love is stronger than a family that is 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕. 🦋✨ Romeo Quinn Nightingale Fan of O w e n W a r n e r James Nightingale

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here...

Last time that we had this conversation I decided we should be friends, hey But now we're going round in circles Tell me, will this deja vu never end?

#NewProfilePic Goodbye reality, hello Vegas….