After switching phones I honestly forgot to redownload twitter 😅 sorry for just now getting back to some of you

I love the look of ruined makeup after sex.

when I give people advice I just assume that the voice in their head talks like Cardi B bc mine does

You can't argue with stupid. Jesus Christ.

First time ever visiting Donut Bank! 11/10 experience

i wish dogs could talk. i would pay all the money in the world to get my fur baby a voice box to match the dog from UP

Go to put on my black jacket that I haven't worn in like a year. Put my hands in the pocket and find 8 bucks. Today might not be so bad

Some people really make ya go: 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

some people are just a waste of fucking space

Hey, are you a Tide Pod? Because you look like a snack, but in reality, you’re incredibly toxic.

anyone else panic when you get a snapchat notification from someone you don't usually talk to? like what's this gonna be about???

"What a fucking week" - Me at 9:17 am on a Monday 😒