#BREAKING: This transfer post is not breaking news in the slightest... Or about a transfer.

#BREAKING: We understand Mo Salah will be at Anfield next season... Because the club have announced it. Photos & everything. #LFC #ITK

#BREAKING: We understand Antonio Conte has sent a group text to Alex Sandro & Bonucci saying: "you boys keen?" #ITK #CFC #TransferTalk

#BREAKING: Lacazette gives away HUGE hint he's heading to Arsenal by watching Iwobi's snapchat story TWICE! #AFC #ITK #TransferTalk

We say "we" even though "we" are generally one lonely teenager trying to make friends. #afc #mufc #cfc #lfc

#BREAKING: We understand Arsenal are keen to bring Lacazette to North London... Because we've read it lots on Sky Sports. #ITK #AFC

#BREAKING: We understand Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is keen on a move to Liverpool after starting a career mode with the Reds on FIFA #AFC #LFC

We believe Watford have signed England U21 Will Hughes from Derby. We believe this, because we are able to read. #BREAKING #TransferTalk

Our sources are telling us the same thing. #BREAKING x.com/transferbibie/…

We reported this transfer just 50 minutes after the news broke!! #BREAKING #TransferTalk x.com/watfordfc/stat…

BREAKING: We understand Arsene Wenger is keen to bring Martial to Arsenal. He likes the fact that he is French and from France. #AFC

BREAKING:We understand Wenger will ignore Lemar and Lacazette in favour of launching French reality show Who Wants To Be An Arsenal Forward?