Today mu mom said a Klondike bar filled with oreos and Reeses looked "so gross" so I'm calling bs on the fact we're actually related

My mom refuses to delete our recordings of Stephen Colbert where he makes fun of Trump because its "history"

Stop and shop worker just asked my mom if i was 16 yet

#findlady

Mom: this guy is so annoying, I hate going out with him Mom (in the same sentence): so him and I are going out next week to an event Idk

Some ugly af old lady at the bar just called my friends and me "little pieces of ass"

When u find out the real reason ur ex broke up with you and u wanna be petty af but ur a mature adult now

In a group text named "Party Girls" and I'm the only person in it under 35

My first concert was Jingle Jam in Hartford and the main performers were Ludacris and Lloyd

did anyone else notice that Peter and Lois switched what side of the bed they sleep on cuz its rly bothering me

Oh shit almost missed Lief Erickson day

When aliña ruins ur day

Buy me Lil Wayne's memoir so I know it's real

Ugh i love this duck

I wonder how much Mila Kunis gets paid to say average 1-3 lines on every episode of Family Guy

All of my body is sore 🙃🙃

I look i got in a fight after this week at crossfit 😂😂

HBD babe Drizzy